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November 11, 2000, 08:15 pm
tweakthis
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(9/8/00 8:49:28 pm)
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Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professorshared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure ofenjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (emits heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up then it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year that "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."
The student received the only "A" given.
csqrd
New Member
posts: 11
(11/1/00 2:41:42 pm)
4.4.114.85
Reply | Edit | Del Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beaudreaux was a BAD Cajun. So when he died he went to the BAD PLACE. One day as Satan was walking around enjoying all the tormenting going on, he spied Beaudreaux huddled in the corner shivering.
"What's the matter, Beaudreaux?", he asked.
"It's kind of cold here!" Beaudreaux complained.
" I'll fix that right now " remarked Satan.
He went to the Great Steam Boiler of Hell, and cranked the thermostat up about another quarter turn and the heat started pumping out.
Making his rounds again he happened on our friend Beaudreaux, still shivering.
"I thought you'd like that better when I turned up the heat", Satan said.
"You got any dem coats around here?" asked Beaudreaux.
Grumbling to himself as he headed for the Boiler again, "Who does he think he is to tell me it's not hot enough down here? I'll teach him something about WARM!" He gave the thermostat a vicious turn all the way up!
The Boiler started rocking! Bolts ripped out of the floor, steam lines were shaking and rattling, steam was leaking out of every joint, and it was HOT! Satan smiled was pleased with himself that so many people were screaming and in agony from the heat.
Again he came upon Beaudreaux and there he was sitting back with his feet up and just relaxing as best you can.
Satan says to Beaudreaux
The Shadowhawke
Member
posts: 648
(11/1/00 5:02:15 pm)
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Re: Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey CSQRD where the rest?
THE SHADOWHAWKE
THE SHADOWREALM
ICQ 16064414
The only stupid question is the one not asked.
Jaturp
Member
posts: 323
(11/2/00 6:58:32 am)
152.163.197.206
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Re: Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the Devil says..What`s the matter? How can you enjoy this xtreme heat? Why are you not in pain? and Boudraux responds "this is like a mild summer in Louisiana" got any Hot Sauce?........Or something like that.JT.
If it ain`t broke.......I ain`t interested
csqrd
New Member
posts: 12
(11/4/00 4:10:46 pm)
4.4.114.152
Reply | Edit | Del Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't know why the whole story didn't get through.
Beaudreaux
csqrd
New Member
posts: 13
(11/4/00 4:14:31 pm)
4.4.114.152
Reply | Edit | Del Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Tech Guy, It did it again. I just retyped the rest of the story and when I checked it, well you see what came through. Any suggestions?
Jaturp
Member
posts: 330
(11/4/00 5:16:56 pm)
152.163.195.196
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pronounced "Boodrow"
If it ain`t broke.......I ain`t interested
csqrd
New Member
posts: 14
(11/5/00 4:40:21 am)
4.54.244.85
Reply | Edit | Del Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Satan says to Beaudreaux, "So how do you like it now?"
Beaudreaux smiles and replies, "I like dis jus' fine Mr. Satan. I was jus' dreamin' of home down in Soddern Louisan'. Thought I was down on the Achafalya River in my perou fishin' on a hot Summer day." Yas sir, I like dis jus' as fine as frog hair!"
Satan doesn't like this kind of attitude at all! He stomps off, heading for the Boiler and mumbles to himself, "Just who does he think he is? Telling me he is enjoying himself. NOBODY enjoys himself down here in Hell! I'll show him who's Boss around here. I got a reputaion to look for! Besides he wrecking my Boiler."
When he gets to the Boiler he cranks the thermostat all the way down. And then heads out again to find Beaudreaux.
Again he finds Beaudreaux, but this time he is huddled in the corner shivering and shaking.
"So, how do you like it now?", shouts Satan triumphantly.
Through chattering teeth and shaking all over, Beaudreaux asks, "What happened? Did da New Orleans Saints win da Super Bowl?"
csqrd
New Member
posts: 15
(11/5/00 4:47:53 am)
4.54.244.85
Reply | Edit | Del Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry 'bout the whole story not coming through the first time or the rest of the story the next three times. I think I figured out why the original didn't go through the first time. I think I'll do some experimenting and see if my hypothesis is correct. Again I apologize.
Let us now see if I'm on track or not.
The Shadowhawke
Member
posts: 661
(11/7/00 10:54:14 am)
206.37.206.68
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looks like it came through just fine now
Good one.
THE SHADOWHAWKE
THE SHADOWREALM
ICQ 16064414
The only stupid question is the one not asked.
Jaturp
Member
posts: 337
(11/7/00 12:21:17 pm)
152.163.207.203
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THAT`S the way it goes...The Saints have me worried right now.JT.
If it ain`t broke.......I ain`t interested
Member
(9/8/00 8:49:28 pm)
154.5.32.79
Reply | Edit | Del All
Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professorshared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure ofenjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (emits heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up then it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year that "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."
The student received the only "A" given.
csqrd
New Member
posts: 11
(11/1/00 2:41:42 pm)
4.4.114.85
Reply | Edit | Del Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beaudreaux was a BAD Cajun. So when he died he went to the BAD PLACE. One day as Satan was walking around enjoying all the tormenting going on, he spied Beaudreaux huddled in the corner shivering.
"What's the matter, Beaudreaux?", he asked.
"It's kind of cold here!" Beaudreaux complained.
" I'll fix that right now " remarked Satan.
He went to the Great Steam Boiler of Hell, and cranked the thermostat up about another quarter turn and the heat started pumping out.
Making his rounds again he happened on our friend Beaudreaux, still shivering.
"I thought you'd like that better when I turned up the heat", Satan said.
"You got any dem coats around here?" asked Beaudreaux.
Grumbling to himself as he headed for the Boiler again, "Who does he think he is to tell me it's not hot enough down here? I'll teach him something about WARM!" He gave the thermostat a vicious turn all the way up!
The Boiler started rocking! Bolts ripped out of the floor, steam lines were shaking and rattling, steam was leaking out of every joint, and it was HOT! Satan smiled was pleased with himself that so many people were screaming and in agony from the heat.
Again he came upon Beaudreaux and there he was sitting back with his feet up and just relaxing as best you can.
Satan says to Beaudreaux
The Shadowhawke
Member
posts: 648
(11/1/00 5:02:15 pm)
206.37.206.68
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey CSQRD where the rest?
THE SHADOWHAWKE
THE SHADOWREALM
ICQ 16064414
The only stupid question is the one not asked.
Jaturp
Member
posts: 323
(11/2/00 6:58:32 am)
152.163.197.206
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the Devil says..What`s the matter? How can you enjoy this xtreme heat? Why are you not in pain? and Boudraux responds "this is like a mild summer in Louisiana" got any Hot Sauce?........Or something like that.JT.
If it ain`t broke.......I ain`t interested
csqrd
New Member
posts: 12
(11/4/00 4:10:46 pm)
4.4.114.152
Reply | Edit | Del Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't know why the whole story didn't get through.
Beaudreaux
csqrd
New Member
posts: 13
(11/4/00 4:14:31 pm)
4.4.114.152
Reply | Edit | Del Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Tech Guy, It did it again. I just retyped the rest of the story and when I checked it, well you see what came through. Any suggestions?
Jaturp
Member
posts: 330
(11/4/00 5:16:56 pm)
152.163.195.196
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pronounced "Boodrow"
If it ain`t broke.......I ain`t interested
csqrd
New Member
posts: 14
(11/5/00 4:40:21 am)
4.54.244.85
Reply | Edit | Del Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Satan says to Beaudreaux, "So how do you like it now?"
Beaudreaux smiles and replies, "I like dis jus' fine Mr. Satan. I was jus' dreamin' of home down in Soddern Louisan'. Thought I was down on the Achafalya River in my perou fishin' on a hot Summer day." Yas sir, I like dis jus' as fine as frog hair!"
Satan doesn't like this kind of attitude at all! He stomps off, heading for the Boiler and mumbles to himself, "Just who does he think he is? Telling me he is enjoying himself. NOBODY enjoys himself down here in Hell! I'll show him who's Boss around here. I got a reputaion to look for! Besides he wrecking my Boiler."
When he gets to the Boiler he cranks the thermostat all the way down. And then heads out again to find Beaudreaux.
Again he finds Beaudreaux, but this time he is huddled in the corner shivering and shaking.
"So, how do you like it now?", shouts Satan triumphantly.
Through chattering teeth and shaking all over, Beaudreaux asks, "What happened? Did da New Orleans Saints win da Super Bowl?"
csqrd
New Member
posts: 15
(11/5/00 4:47:53 am)
4.54.244.85
Reply | Edit | Del Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry 'bout the whole story not coming through the first time or the rest of the story the next three times. I think I figured out why the original didn't go through the first time. I think I'll do some experimenting and see if my hypothesis is correct. Again I apologize.
Let us now see if I'm on track or not.
The Shadowhawke
Member
posts: 661
(11/7/00 10:54:14 am)
206.37.206.68
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looks like it came through just fine now
Good one.
THE SHADOWHAWKE
THE SHADOWREALM
ICQ 16064414
The only stupid question is the one not asked.
Jaturp
Member
posts: 337
(11/7/00 12:21:17 pm)
152.163.207.203
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: Will hell freeze over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THAT`S the way it goes...The Saints have me worried right now.JT.
If it ain`t broke.......I ain`t interested